how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You left your phone here
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