Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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