Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
