The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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