No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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