then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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