Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
