toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
operation harelip BJ is a go
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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