i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
