My boss' voice literally gives me gas
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
