Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
