This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Randomize
