matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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