so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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