I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
