I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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