The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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