Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
