I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
