Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just google imaged poop.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
