What a fucking waste of an outfit
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
