Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
