If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
