BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
