i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
