My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
