so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
