i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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