My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
third nipple confirmed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
