Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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