maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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