How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
