I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
