we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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