lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
