please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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