I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
