My hair reeks of homosexuality.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This baby is an asshole
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
