You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
