What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
