I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
MIDGETS
????
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
