So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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