I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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