I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
