I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
