I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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