Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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