hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Buhtt sex?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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