I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
