My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
