his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
